Help me help a brother...

Posted by seik at 04:07, 8/10/2005

First things first, I apologise profusely for this column, I've come in drunk and I'm sacrificing decent w**k time coz I'm horny as f*** coz a girl I really like is playing me about but I've decided to take up a cause that I have just found out about.

I'm currently at Uni living in halls enjoying it very much. There are 26 guys on my floor and I've just found out that one of the guys is a CS addict, he's never come out and we just raided his room and he said he's been playing CS for the last 6 hours. I don't play anymore but a 6 hour stint is pretty damn good going, I used to play 8 hours a day when I was 16 but I haven't played that much in ages. We convinced him to leave his room and come to the common room, he is steeped in "online superiority complex" as I was when I was engrossed by CS and the general online world and has very little in the way of social skills. I could see the disgust smattered all over his face as the girls were talking about utterly inane topics such as mayonaisse. I've decided to keep my online past/present as a complete secret so I can't really go upto him and be like "Oh Hi I played CS once, its cool innit!".

How do I help him? Or perhaps should I not?

Currently rated 6.25 after 8 ratings.
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Comments

DoZ
Anti-saviour of UKT
00:29 9/10/2005
Play him, beat him, prove his gaming life is worthless and make him come out on the pull with you lot. Unless your bread is buttered that side in which case, pull him and be done with it. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
toko
euthanasia
00:44 9/10/2005
never EVER tell a girl u play cs. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
MooN81
04:01 9/10/2005
yer best 2 not bring it up...if hes sat inside playin cs insted of goin out at what...20? its his prob :P [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
ensnare
Atari.Crew
11:41 9/10/2005
tell him cs is dead! [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
raze
12:46 9/10/2005
destroy his pc while he sleeps - ull be doing him a biiiiiiiig favour [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Del`
Sniper's Alley
12:55 9/10/2005
Just give him time, he'll probably come out of his shell in a few weeks and will start picking up social skills.

I remember in my halls there was this one lad who moved in halfway through the year, he was a right wierdo, on the PC all the time but he wasn't into gaming at all, spent all his time looking at hardware websites, he had a really rich gran who gave him loads of money, so he'd buy stuff like smoke machines and heart rate monitors just for the novelty, I suppose he probably got more attention from his friends that way. I gave up on him as a lost cause, very smarmy and judgemental and would frown on extroverted people like myself. He'd come out drinking sometimes but would never drink more than a couple of pints and then would act like a boring c*** when everyone else was wasted and shuffle off home with a frown on his face.

I remember he used to walk down stairs like a woman in high heels, swinging his ass from side to side, made me think he was a poof, and that I thought he was a poof got out and he didn't want to speak to me after that. Wierdo though, he'd go on random flights to places like Glasgow by himself for no reason, and lazy as f***! In the second year he was still mates with one of my flatmates, he lived 2 streets away, literally 300 yards walk with only one road to cross, and he used to get a taxi both ways. Serious. The only time he'd ever walk anywhere was when it was with friends, like into uni, ANYTHING else, he'd get a taxi. When we were out in the town on the drink, if we moved venues he'd get a taxi to the next place while the rest of us were walking, even when it was so close we'd beat him there on foot. He 'didn't like buses', and he had so much money he could get a taxi everywhere if he wanted to. One of those people who 'don't like' almost everything, utter c***s. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
decrepit
Croydon
14:39 9/10/2005
Should of bummed him [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Tru
15:13 9/10/2005
dont force him to do anything just make him feel like a friend and actually invite him out and ocassionally make him go out with you - maybe he's really shy! [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
icewilly
15:18 9/10/2005
stick your penis up his bum and wiggle it like when u strum [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
aaa
15:26 9/10/2005
do you actually give a s***? let him do what he wants [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
icewilly
19:32 9/10/2005
what he said [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
-m0o.Rob-
04:05 10/10/2005
hes black! let him be, the dawgondawg shootings will thin his ranks soon enough [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
-m0o.Rob-
04:07 10/10/2005
del you old extrovert! i bet you scared him into a permenant social coma with one of your verbal canada orgasms! :D:D [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Mango
11:04 10/10/2005
Form a clan. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
-m0o.Rob-
13:09 10/10/2005
"has very little in the way of social skills. I could see the disgust smattered all over his face as the girls were talking about utterly inane topics such as mayonaisse."

why what qualifies as social skills? joining in with these mayomunters? verbally grooming their spazwitted idealogy, or just giggling like a pansy? lifting the pitch at the end of every sentence? seriously whats the deal [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
13:50 10/10/2005
the lack of social skills is denoted by the fact that he let the conversation get him down. i had no interest in talking about mayonnaise so i just started talking about something i did wanna talk about, which at the time was prosthetic legs i believe. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
blackbird
14:27 10/10/2005
seik listen its clear that you fancy this lad as when scanning over your column you state a) your horny b) your writing a column about a boy.

So clearly means that your really horny over a boy that plays cs but your not too sure about how you should approach him for sexual pleasure.

My advice raid his room (like you did b4) "accidently" trip, fall and land on his ass and be done with it. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Liam
conneXion
15:45 10/10/2005
wait a minute... your the lad who raided my room last night???? =[ [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Hayes-
16:11 10/10/2005
Just leave him be, invite him out with your lot every so often and he'll sort himself out when he's good and ready.

Also, I can't stand 90% of the crap women come out with (conversations about pink things make me want to kill myself) but that doesn't mean I don't have any 'social skills'.

You shouldn't try and force people to do things they don want to. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
aCcuM
17:39 10/10/2005
im sorry this column just screams gay to me. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
ensnare
Atari.Crew
20:21 10/10/2005
aCcuM is gay. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
-m0o.Rob-
23:08 10/10/2005
blackbird you are a gay [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
xeneX^
Rage
04:07 11/10/2005
my gaydar got overloaded after reading that.

a/s/l? [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Liam
conneXion
09:04 11/10/2005
lewl n1 [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Del`
Sniper's Alley
10:34 11/10/2005
So you're in an all male hall seik? Sounds s***ty. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
11:08 11/10/2005
no, guys on bottom floor, girls on middle, mix on top [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Krispy
18:41 11/10/2005
terrible how the still segregate mixed races... [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Montaver
theb0g
21:31 11/10/2005
Seik are you at Leeds did you say? Boddington? If so what house? (I was there last year) [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
13:03 12/10/2005
yeah im in barbier house aka barbie :) [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
blackbird
20:57 13/10/2005
-m0o.Rob-
23:08 10/10/2005 blackbird you are a gay

im ur dad, oh wait thats means i am gay! SHUCKS [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
ensnare
Atari.Crew
00:49 15/10/2005
original [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Montaver
theb0g
18:14 15/10/2005
Hah safe, I was in Woodsley. I live in Hyde Park, no more missioning it along the fking otley road! [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
02:45 16/10/2005
i was in the hyde park tonight on an otley run, i amde it to the dry dock, not bad going i reckon :)

[Edited by seik at 02:47 16/10/2005] [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
02:45 16/10/2005
^ i'm ashamed of that spelling mistake [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Atemi
ForsakeN
21:53 16/10/2005
its prolly DanceM so whatever you say wont help him understand. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Del`
Sniper's Alley
10:43 17/10/2005
lol yeah it'd be pretty funny if seik's friend was a UKT reader [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
ensnare
Atari.Crew
11:52 17/10/2005
whats his name! [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Boldie
13:26 17/10/2005
lube up seik, its time to party! [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
blackbird
15:19 17/10/2005
seik: hey there big guy
seiks-soon-to-be-b/f: HEHE wanna stroke my deagle [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
georgeda
15:41 17/10/2005
being in the in crowd is so the 1990s [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Boldie
16:07 17/10/2005
just coz u have no life geo, saying stuff like that will never make u cool [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Az
RemOte.uK
17:07 17/10/2005
just name and shame. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
18:36 17/10/2005
lets go for it, time to risk a beating...

HEY TOM ON THE GROUND FLOOR IN BARBIER HOUSE, DUDE YOU'RE A f***ING LOSER, GET A LIFE! [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
blackbird
18:59 17/10/2005
tom, tom who? there are many toms like tom dick and hairy...name and shame (name and surname thx) [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Az
RemOte.uK
19:04 17/10/2005
how would it be risking a beating, if he is what you say he is, hes a little geek, now if your "risking" then you must be small besides, who fights now days? [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
19:29 17/10/2005
im risking a beating because i've seen him, and hes bigger than me... [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Boldie
09:51 18/10/2005
yes ok mr.random! ur like that advert with the kiddy voice that turns out to be a man, fake. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
seik
11:46 18/10/2005
It's a shame when cousins fall in love. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Boldie
12:32 18/10/2005
wanna post a "real" pic of urself mr.random so we can all laff ? seik, so true. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Culexus2001
02:55 19/10/2005
im awful at insults? dancem i just speak the truth, your a sad loser. why you describing yourself to me anyway, im not one of you stupid average white boys, ill spit in ye face dips***, you dont know me at all [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Culexus2001
04:45 19/10/2005
whats makes a good insult anyway? stupid f***, i say what i want, you aint gonna stop me, only those w**kheads at ukt who LOVE to destroy all of my accounts can stop me, dancem you a p***y licker straight, thats all i gotta say, alpha and the rest of u ukt geeks can all eat dog dick you f***ing weaklings [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
aaa
09:49 19/10/2005
why waste your precious time on us geeks when you could be out f***ing your aunt? get a life. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Guvnor
14:17 19/10/2005
tell him to play CS source. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Culexus2002
07:17 20/10/2005
why would i f*** my aunt, im not a freak white boy who likes that incest stuff, and im doing exactly what your saying im doing, wasting time on you geeks. im wasting time cause im in a boring country waiting to get home, in the past i learnt shouting s*** on ukt always gets replies and it always leads to hours wasting time. better then rotting my life away on a computer game that gets you nothing, apart from emotional feelings when you dont beat the opponent. you said it yourself aaa your a geek, straight thats all that needs to be said, how bout you read what you type, and YOU GET A LIFE [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Culexus2002
08:17 20/10/2005
as for the column now, help you help a brother? if you class other cs players as family, damn this whole f***ing family needs help. none of you losers can understand 'game' with females, as your all players in a pathetic ame such as counter-strike, what you gonna do walk to a girl and state how you won this killed this got sponsered by these people for getting your eyeballs burnt out by computer screens all your lives, they gonna love it, all you p***ies need help [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
ensnare
Atari.Crew
10:09 20/10/2005
If I was stuck working at mcdonalds full time I expect I would be saying the same things Culexus2002 [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Tru
10:15 20/10/2005
am I missing something or is Culexus2002 posting on a CS site and has been registered on one for 3 years? [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Culexus2002
11:05 20/10/2005
1, i dont work there, and if i did its more to real life than f***ing cs is, it'll probably teach me more of a lesson bout life then wasting it on here, if i was there elast im gaining money unlike being full time behind the pc WASTING money and valuable time.

registered for 3 years? i dont think so, have you seen me around for 3 years? use your head nob end and yes i am posting on a cs site, cause its where you find all the idiots who are all the same thinking they know better than one or the other, your all in the same catagory, losers who all have insecurities and cant get over them, but think smashing someone over cs or cs news sites is they key to their lives [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
careface
12:55 20/10/2005
inbred retard. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Culexus2003
13:37 20/10/2005
that was painful, never heard of the saying truth hurts? probably why that has no effect on me, i know you still crying over the sad truth i have mentioned above, white p***y licker [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
L
15:45 20/10/2005
Culexus you are right, im gona go better my life right now infact.
Thanks man
xx [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Rand0m
coerce
16:54 20/10/2005
Del the guy u described seems to me has had a loss in his family from murder or something :| why dont you ask? :) [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
aaa
17:45 20/10/2005
I think Culexus needs a hug [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
exact
21:34 20/10/2005
I think Culexus needs to stop saying white like it's an insult [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Divine
22:08 20/10/2005
JIHAAAAAD [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
culexus2004
02:20 21/10/2005
glad you see the light L, maybe you can past some on to the rest of these white boys. and white is an insult stupid geek, id hate to be white, id hate to be a weak average p***y motherf***er out there who cant get a girl. not suprised you want a hug either b***h p***y white guy just remember aaa rhymes with gaygaygay, you white weaklings [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
aaa
06:08 21/10/2005
I think Culexus needs a hug [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Nakara
19:54 21/10/2005
how can one man have so much anger built up, can imagine him like losing it over someone not putting their cup on a coaster or something [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
enigmatic
23:28 21/10/2005
the guy is dead in the water. you've taken him out of his natural habitat and exposed him to the opposite sex. he will no doubt get shot down a dozen times by girls that don't even merit a 4 out of 10 and end up slitting his wrists.

or more hopefully cs will have taught him to use a gun in real life and he will stalk from room to room in your halls killing you all while you sleep.

either way it's a win-win situation for the rest of us. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Del`
Sniper's Alley
13:14 22/10/2005
Culexus will be moving into the future over the next couple of days [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
culexus2004
13:35 22/10/2005
not yet stuck in the past, along with you losers stuck in this game, and you del, stuck in the past in your pathetic snipers alley, how many years is it now, and how much have you achieved, explain del let us all know, wheres your money at wheres your stacks and wheres your products. by that i dont mean a stupid mouse mat or pair of headphones if you even got any... for free that is. cause i know many p***y holes like you are paying mad prices for s*** just to GAME with, i was a guy back in the day slaying a dick like you with my 2 button mouse. snipers alley.. snipers alley who? thats what been said for a long time and will do for as long as your around, you got "CS REP"? who really cares, what you got thats really good [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
culexus2004
13:36 22/10/2005
aaa simply rhymes with gaygaygay thats all i got to say for you [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Del`
Sniper's Alley
13:59 22/10/2005
you what? [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
blackbird
14:07 22/10/2005
he said....

not yet stuck in the past, along with you losers stuck in this game, and you del, stuck in the past in your pathetic snipers alley, how many years is it now, and how much have you achieved, explain del let us all know, wheres your money at wheres your stacks and wheres your products. by that i dont mean a stupid mouse mat or pair of headphones if you even got any... for free that is. cause i know many p***y holes like you are paying mad prices for s*** just to GAME with, i was a guy back in the day slaying a dick like you with my 2 button mouse. snipers alley.. snipers alley who? thats what been said for a long time and will do for as long as your around, you got "CS REP"? who really cares, what you got thats really good [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
aaa
15:39 22/10/2005
I think Culexus needs a hug from his mother, she needs to let him know that he is loved. He lacks love and compassion. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
blackbird
16:02 22/10/2005
maybe, just maybe this will balance out his emtions after all that sexual abuse from his grandad [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
daveeee
16:21 22/10/2005
white p***y licker

Not sure why any of that's an insult. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
careface
18:38 22/10/2005
colexus was blatently abused by his parents as a kid. [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Divine
23:56 22/10/2005
i think he made a fair comment tbh :s [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
Venomous
BLACKLiGHT
17:15 23/10/2005
Haha some funny comments, i liked the sniper's alley one. Don't really appreciate the racism though, get beaten up by some white boys recently black boy?! [ Comment: Report | IP: Logged ]
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